From A to Z

It is night and I am alone.

I ponder over the things you have said this afternoon, and I think I finally understand.

Perhaps I have not been totally fair. To accuse you of deceit, of wanting, of cheating emotions. Perhaps you really mean what you have been telling me all these while; you believe it to be true, and you never once felt there was anything wrong with the way things have been. But what you hold right and true for yourself, I can never do the same for me because within my framework of life, there lies a totally different set of values and beliefs.

I was wrong because I expected things from you that you have never given before and do not think you have to give now. You were wrong because I tried to fit you into my framework. I see it now and you have taught me that life is not all black and white, but in many different shades of grey.

You and I, we have been searching and searching, and we have been filled with want. But we seek different things and we move around in different worlds, worlds of darkness both, but separate worlds nonetheless.

We met at a crossroad where I could give you what you want, and you provided what I needed most. Time passes and we now reach a place where both of us want so much more. And because of the different things we desire, there is no more mid-point for us to meet like there once used to be. Instead, it is this more that drive us apart and widen the chasm, and, most importantly, make me realise just how different we are and how there can never be anything at all.

You are not wrong for wanting what you want, and I am not in the wrong for needing what I need, but there are things which cannot be reconciled and it is just our luck that this be one of them.

I will remember you and, despite everything, I am truly glad that I met you. Will you feel the same way about me?

It is ok, you do not have to do anything, you do not have to speak of leaving again. Do not think, do not feel. Everything will be ok, if you believe it to be true.


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