God has an amazing way of taking care of His children. I am awed and humbled by His love!
As days went by and the time for the end drew nearer, I could feel the tension at home thickening and weighing down on everyone. Mother looked tired and haggard, and dad – though he didn’t say anything, at least not to me, – he was fraying at the corners due to stress and anger over the entire fiasco. Last night, the final news came in and when I read what mother wrote to me, I’d wanted to drop to my knees and cry. For daddy, for them, for our family, for brother, for me, for the future.
Though unprepared to give what needed to be given, I knew that I would do it when the time come for me to. Yet a selfish part of me was sad to give up my dreams, my interests, my passion, my plans. Yes, I am ashamed that I felt that way, what an imperfect being I am.
The night was spent tossing and turning and tearing and brooding, a million thoughts running haphazardly through my mind. I know daddy and mother had trouble sleeping as well. And there was this sense of helplessness in me, paralysing me, making me unable to do or say anything to change things for the better. Oh, the weight of the ‘world’…
The day wasn’t any better. I found myself snapping at people when I was not brooding away, lost in my worries. There was this dull ache pressing against my heart which never seem to go away.
But one door closes and another opens. God provides an opportunity, dad took it and everything is right once again now… finally! After months of worries and stress, daddy is happy once again. Mother looks so relieved, and me.. I am elated!
He must have heard my prayers last night, and He is so prompt in answering them. God is good!
[Okay, I know this is the first time anyone ‘hear’ me talk like that and to be honest, I am also weird-ed out that I am talking and feeling like this but just bear with me okay.]
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
— Psalm 18:2