Been feeling moody and restless lately (at most times anyway).
So I want some wings to fly and soar, yet invisible strings of the blood pull me back, coldly, chillingly; choking and crippling me, again and again this cycle repeats and I am tired of it, pray tell me will you let me breathe on my own?
So I want world enough and time, but time moves of its own accord, not waiting, not hesitating for anyone anything, the world spins, not of wanting, not of any care, so leaving people like me standing still in the whirlwind of movements.
So I want to shed the layers til I can find my core again, and upon seeing a notice for a possibility to work towards that but of limited time to apply, I called them instead but was cut down on the spot [and the next will be two years later], not intentionally cruelly but still cruel to my ever-seeking mind.
So I want to mean something more, like maybe a significant piece of the heart, or a mite of the soul, maybe a slice of the laughter, a touch in the important bits of life; but it is not so, not time yet perhaps, and I know things should not be rushed for now, so here I hide in the shadows. Again, everytime.