Roller-coaster

Help.

Enough of the roller-coaster emotions, the transition from nothingness to fury, the falling of walls, the contradictory hints thrown my way, the justifications, the volatility, the broken trust, the not daring to even go there, the trails of hope.
Enough of the wondering, the obsessing, the checking, the reading of, the wishing, the wanting more than just this, the pain of knowledge, the sharing of.
Enough of your constant “I promise I won’t..”, of asking things of me which is opposite of what you are doing, of keeping xxx and telling me it is my fault, of breaking your promises.
Enough of cornering me, of pretense, of mind games, of forceful requests, of making light of them, of double standards, of disrespect.
Enough of the meaningless small talk, the chirpiness, the pretending it will be a good distraction, the bizarreness of it, the unwillingness, the feeling of having to oblige.

God.. I am so, so tired….

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